Wednesday, April 29, 2009

#30: POST 99

Tam, 
I decided to share with our readers for post 99 something I found hilarious today. My younger brother Paul is 13 years old. He likes video games, talking to me on msn when I'm upstairs and he's downstairs, and cats. Here's me and him handling our cat Ginger, and some extra pictures:






 He is in the 7th Grade, and when Paul gets in trouble in class, his teacher writes something called a discipline report.  I never had discipline reports, it's basically a double sided page that has the teachers information on the situation on the one side, and Paul's apology on the other side. I'm going to scan it when I get the chance because seeing it in real life is HILARIOUS, but for now I've typed it below. 


Page 1:
Pilgrim Wood Public School Discipline Report

Student Name: Paul P. Date: Apr. 29
Sent By: Kraus Class: 7-2 Time: 12:30
Homeroom Teacher: Branscombe

Please indicate the Inappropriate Behaviour/ Reason for Office Referral: 
[  ] Physical Aggression 
[x] Disruptive to Other in Class
[  ] Refusal to Work
[  ] Other (please specify) _______________

Details (Written by Teacher)
- not allowing the teacher to deliver instructions (yelling out/rapping songs)  

** Student Reflection and Response (on back):

Page 2:

Name: Paul  Class: 7-2

Resolution: What I did that has contributed to the problem. This is where you need to take responsibility for your actions.

Well, to be honest this is a complete and utter misunderstanding. This makes me mad and I have no complete say in this. SUPPOSEDLY, I cant argue about this or even say what my perspective of this is. This situation should not be interpreted as a discipline report, but a blue slip. I also never rapped i was on task, I simply asked a friend if they wanted to play "pinball" with someone after school when the teacher wasn't talking.

Restitution: This is where the consequences for your mistake is chosen. It is meant to help prevent the problem from happening again and help you make better choices. What are the consequences for this problem.

There should not be ANY consequences for this because I have not done anything bad since my last white slip/discipline report and this discipline report was out of the blue.

Reconciliation: This is the apology healing part. One or more people may be feeling hurt or upset because of this issue. What will you do?

I also don't what to apologize for because for the last time: I DIDNT do anything nor did I get a say

* * * * *

Obviously, this is one of the funniest things I have seen all day. Who knew kids in elementary school got to say their opinion! Last time I got in trouble with Residence Security they just write me up and send me fines in the mail. We need this white slip/blue slip/discipline report that your mom signs system in University (Carleton, take NOTES.) Especially since I can't see my grades because of some 219.00$ fine on my student record. 

STAY TUNED FOR ONEPOINTFIVEASIANS BLOG POST 100, WHERE TAM AND I COLAB ON A VIDEO POST IN OAKVILLE.

Love, 
LPB aka Serena

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

#55: doin' fifty five in the fifty four


Nice, I voted for dragons too. What's happening to all the voters?

The first poll we had 18, than the P-foods poll we crept down to 17, now this?

Anyways. I'm just glad that the red herring didn't win this time. In the docu-film when Olson asks Johnson if he believed in dragons, his answer was wait, what? And it cut to the next shot. Now I didn't include it in the poll because knowing you guys, it had a high probability of winning and that was not nearly as interesting as 'Yes'.
Figure A. Komodo dragon leg bite

I was at Olives, last night and we were watching LOST. With all the flashbacks happening the conversation turned to why girls always want to 'go back to the beginning' in relationships. I just want it to be like before! Girls, you need to watch Back to the Future nothing good happens when you go back to the beginning. You may find yourself in an uncomfortable situation with your parents trying to date you, you may find yourself playing for Chuck Berry's band (this one isn't necessarily bad) or you may even find yourself with an arch nemesis named Biff (this one sucks).

If I've learned anything from the movie trilogy is that going back to the beginning can't help us baby, it can only harm us.
Figure B. Michael J. Fox hoverboarding

Box, has been bugging (more like begging!) me to do a blog post about skateboarding and I haven't done one in a while so here it is Box. You can't beat the hoverboard, can you imagine front rockin' on this stick? You could front rock on an angry dragon.
Figure C. Kimmie with great insight

Well well, look at the time. Can someone tell LPB, to come down to the office? Val dropped off her lunch and she needs to come pick it up.

I can feel this blog post starting to suck already, it had potential I know, I know.
Edit:



Keith Hufnagel is the founder of 'Huf' clothes. He skates. He's #1 skateboarder in the world.

Damn I wish I was #1 at something.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

#54: on episode 54 of entourage the guys go to CANNES FRANCE for the CANNES FESTIVAL

LPB, I think the best comment on Hypebeast was "is the bitch on the left pregnant?"

Robin, you're not a bitch and you're not pregnantanymore. Robin you're sweet, can I come over sometime to swim in my new swim shorts when Justine isn't there? I heard you're going to be drunk by 2 PM too, that's my kinda gal. Can't wait to see ya and the baby.



We're closing in on the TPOT's centennial post, so that is really sweet.

This has been my first sober moment since Friday (finished my religions exam) and the summer in Montreal has been snappin' (20 plus degree weather).

After religions I shotgunned a beer, started drinking and played mario kart (I think I posted something on TPOT too).



...I'M NOT FUCKING DRUNK

Next week we're going to have Tony from thelivesofgreatmen to come and do some guest posting, so stay stoked for that. As long as he doesn't post no 5000 word essays or outwits me on my own blog it'll be ok. I'm going to screen all his posts first to make sure he's not too funny.

I'm not drunk, why does everyone think I'm drunk. FUCK. Is this the new "tam is a dick" thing? If I learned anything from that whole dick stint, it's that I should probably come to terms with it fast. On the bright side at least I'm not a drunk. I hope the next "tam is a dick" thing is "tam looks on the bright side" I would be happy with that.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

#29: not funny

Tam, 

FIRST OF ALL, that drunk post you made was hilarious. I mean not drunk post. I really liked the drunk (not drunk?) video of you putting them on your head.

Also, I'm so happy to be done school and back in Oakville. You need to come back here asap. I broke the news to Val today that in reality, I'm going to buy a Nikon D90 with my credit line this summer and he needs to get over it. He just looked at me REALLY thoroughly unimpressed. 

I really like centering my posts.

AND I would like to defend myself about this ongoing Hypebeast joke. It isn't a joke because it is NOT funny. Creepers that look at my Facebook and then post pictures (like the ones below) of me on Hypebeast forums is not cool(moral of the story: boys don't be internet creepers. Just tell the lady how you feel.)




AND it was in the Jailbait forum. I am so not jailbait. If the creep who did it reads this and comes forward, I will bake you a batch of cupcakes and personally ice them...and then Tam Vu and I will probably beat you up.. unless you're huge. For the record, I was dressed up as Tila Tequila for a car rally, which is like a giant scavenger hunt across Oakville and you have to have themes. It was last summer, we were celebrity rehab or something. Next to me, Anna is Britney Spears in her prime.

I'm so happy about summer. I can't get over that I'm not going to have to think about anything for 4 months. When I said that to Johanne (my mom) today, she said I would have to think about work. I guess I really shouldn't tell her my Nikon D90 idea then.

Love, 
LPB aka Serena

ps: my next post is going to be huge and all about Vans authentic Lo Pros.

Friday, April 24, 2009

#53: buddhism in sri lanka is different from buddhism in japan

Finished my exam, schools out for summer.

Here's some Winston to celebrate:

This kitten can even make the most grizzled of men awe in adoration. AWE FUCK.

Back in hometown in t-minus t-one week,

t-out.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

#52: i'm not drunk el

There's so much going through my brain right now, scatter brain. I need to draw a mind map.

Edit: I actually did it, but I don't have MSPAINT so I had to use photoshop which is good because I added imagery. I feel like it helped convey my thoughts.

I ripped my favourite jawns today and this made me very sad. But my deadline for Serena was looming (who knew she would be so strict!) and I knew I had to write, write whatever my little fingers were feelin' cause they were hot, hot, hot!. Now I know exactly what it feels like to be a writer for the New York Times.

Here are some pictures of my jeans and a video of me taking off my pants. If anyone knows of a good seamstress hold on tight to her, and I'll get my fingers to call your ears.




video

Ok LPB, you can post now. You're so nomnomnom (did I do this right?)

Tony, hey Tony when are you going to make my World Famous Top 5's? I'm rattled I'm not invited to your birthday party but at least leave me some dignity and let me do a hilarious Top 5 list. Trust me I'm going to out do myself, I can already see it now. The vision buddy, the vision.

Eli, SHOUTS!

Mia, do you read my blog? Just talk to me, just tell me, lets work it out baby.


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

#28: coachella






Tam, we are going next year.
Steve Aoki, Lupe Fiasco and TV on the Radio were there, I would jizz in my pants.

Love, 
LPB AKA serena

#27: I'm rockin' vans, i'm in the sand. I've got a redbull and vodka up in my hand



Well, it's a good thing it's raining in Ottawa. Not like it's almost summer or anything (thanks weatherman, dick.) Sipping wine thinking about summer. 

(this will be me in the summer, but with Vans on where my feet should be)

Things that need to happen for it to be summer:

- weatherman telling me it's +25

- poolside drinking

- [new] bathing suits

- summer tune: Kid Cudi - Superboo

I really like your poll Tam, I really like dragons and voted YES to existing. I like your red herring this time around too. Fraser was telling me the other day I should probably visit BC or something because it's filled with the kind of guys I like. Pat said he would take me there (maybe he will).

Yesterday, It was 4/20 and I spent most of the day celebrating. I made a shirt (pictures later), and went to Parliament Hill, where it's apparently legal on strictly that day.


erinn and I look cute in ray bans.

this post is lame.

LOVE
LPB aka Serena

#51: TMNT



Turtles turn 25 today.

Monday, April 20, 2009

#50: half a century post

Half a century ago Pokemon didn't exist. Nor did the other mons, like Digimon, Supermon, or Chi chi mons.

My landlord wants me to pay for damages for some stupid shit I did to the common area.

I was drunk as fuck cooking my noodles to eat after coming in from a night out, and I knocked over a chair by accident. So I left it there thinking I'd get it later. 5 minutes elapsed and Manuel creeps into the room and starts flipping shit over because he sees the chair turned over. So I go over there and help him we flip the couches, place some sticks on the couches, put some chairs outside on the balcony and then Manuel gets the idea to pour soap all over the couches. Now we're just chillin, chillin, still chillin, I look up and there is a fucking camera.

Fuck.

I'm going to get a hold of the video later this afternoon and post it-- stay tuned.

Now, this weeks poll is taken from the Final Flare, where Young Olson asks Old Johnson if he "Believes in Dragons," the question was never answered and so here we stand.

Do you believe in dragons?

- Yes


- No


I watched the 25th Hour last night by Spike Lee. I'm a huge Spike Lee fan, but the montage about stereotypes that was found in Do the Right Thing (by Spike Lee), seemed forced in this movie. The acting was pretty on point but the movie moved slowly. I liked it, but if someone asked me to recommend them something good I wouldn't point them this way.

LPB, I wasn't lurking they were making so much noise, like... "OUUUEEEE, OUUUUEEE then EEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH."

Saturday, April 18, 2009

#26: head

Tam, 

As girls, i'm usually not concerned about the above lurker as I team pee.

Just saying.
Here's a picture of me here, about to team pee with some friends:

That's during frosh. I must have been real drunk if I was going to pee in public.

Anyways, here is my contribution to things on peoples head week:

or a cat with a hat?

Love, 
Lil Pho Bowl
aka Serena

#49: ask me for pics

As girls,

Do you think about where you'll end up after you drink your tequila,
like the dark alleyway under my balcony?
screaming and yelling,

team pee, team pee, team pee,

and lining up against the wall, team peeing

with your cameras flashing, and mine as well

Drunk girls are crazy


The theme for this week are people with things on their heads. LPB kicked it off nicely with Shia from Even Stevens fame (love(d) that show).

Here's my contribution tonight:

Some of my favourite things are in this picture.
  1. hats
  2. kittens
  3. jean jackets
  4. the mole milky way (just kidding i love this picture).
LPB, see you in the hometown soon so we can get it snapping for my birthday party. introduce that new new superboo to the home folks. also on a grimmer note i'm about to double double you, watch out.


Thursday, April 16, 2009

#48: cuddle this, cuddle that


Winston takes a nap.
From Crailtap

#47: tam supertramp



Firstly, what happened to my missing voter? We had 18 last week!

Secondly, the red herring wins again. Pussy. You guys are die hards, what about like poutine, and pasta, and PIZZA, like what happens if you hit a cold spell, what are you going to eat at 2 in the morning. Whoever voted for pho hit me up and I'll take you (2) for Pho 88. (seriously)

Thirdly, I've been sick and studying, I'll be back shortly.




Tuesday, April 14, 2009

#46: kittens

Fans of The Passion know that we love and appreciate kittens.

Everyone, please welcome...





Winston!



(kitten from the crailtap)


Stay tuned, for this weeks new theme... later this evening.

#25: Guess Who??


Shia Lebeouf is obviously convinced he is so popular that it is necessary to put a bag on his head. Apparently he has a hand injury, and not enough money to afford the American healthcare system, in which he took matters into his own hands (PUN INTENDED) and put a bag on his head as well. Sorry Shia, your acting in every movie/tv show you've done is the same, you're not famous enough for a bag head yet.

photo courtesy of justjared.com

#45: free porno on fridays at the Love Shop in Bronte

LPB, you dick!

(who is that behind you? Looks like Fyfe. Fyfe is that you???)

a.) nice va-jay-jay analogy after my passive-aggressive attack on blogs

b.) Will it blend?
OFCOURSE IT WILL FUCKING BLEND HAHAHAHHAHAA. Dude when did you get more hilarious than me? I think Eli said it best when trying to describe our blog. "It's like... it's like an ongoing conversation between them."

c.) dude. I need to clear up this crush thing once and for all. I fell in crush with your skateboard, you were just like the appetizer, the salad. Just imagine, you could have been a super boo, skating is sick, body is dope

I think you should start skating again, but skate mini ramp. There is this bar that opens up their mini every Wednesday night where people get drunk, land tricks, and mess with chicks. Anyways, one of the chicks you don't mess with (she's kinda cute) is super sick at skating mini, like so fucking gnarly and tight I love it (the more I think about it the more it makes the blood rush to my penis).

We're building a mini in a garage in guelph, and I don't take 'No' for an answer (I hope these aren't early signs of becoming a rapist).

d.) FOURTHLY,



These are the fucking HEYDAYS (you know I wasn't saying nom nom when this picture was being taken, so why are you?). Getting so fucked up every night and RACER BIKING HOME. Are you serious? Do you want to see my bike? Have I shown you my bike yet? Dude, I've just realized something. I've picked up way more chicks (1) with my bike than I have on a skateboard (0), Colin Reinholt you're so damn lucky bro.

#24: Will it Blend?

Of course it will fucking blend. Blendtrec blenders run shit. 


Also, Jack introduced me to an even sicker show on Discovery Channel than myth busters called Time Warp that shows EVERYTHING in slow motion. Check it out on youtube, because the video won't let me take the embed code (lame).

Love, 
LPB

PS: for you perverts who only came for the nude pics in the facebook status; sorry i just wanted to get you to look here. heehehe!

#44: rocket powered unicorns



Wow. Anyone that knows me, knows that I know, noses.

And Mythbusters. Come over to my pad at 5 in the afternoon? You know what's playing.

I'm at your house? You know what channel I'm slowly creeping to.

Wait for the slow motion, it's NUTS. You can tell Adam is legit stoked to flip the switch.

nom nom nom

#23: The first skateboard i ever had was Eric Koston

Tam, 

Deshon was being a dickhead this morning (taking after you obviously), and said i don't even post on this blog. Now I am taking time out of my education to post on it because I obviously hate studying for english. 
Eric Koston was on my first deck, it was an orange, white and green mesh of colours, and it was a Girl. I remember going to Hustler and dropping 2.5 bills of Executive Pho Bowl's (Val ie: my dad) money on it, only for it to get stolen out of my connected garage, along with Pat's Andrew Reynolds deck.

(this is Eric Koston, for those who didn't catch on)

Ah yes, those were the days where i used to skateboard in the back of T.A Blakelock in a skirt and Tam had a crush on me (disclaimer; tam is not actually related to me in anyway and I also just spilled one of his dirty little secrets). Apparently I still do skateboard when I'm drunk. Maybe I should start making it a reality again when I'm sober? (View poll on the side)
The days where I looked like this:



and this:


And Tam still looks like this:


Well, now that we got the Grade 10 and 11 flashback out of the way, I can fully let everyone know that it is officially 12 degrees in Ottawa today (and sunny !) which means that summer needs to start for me and the weather better keep getting better.
Also, I always wonder why looks like this always get 28937428374 hypes on lookbook.nu?


I don't understand where this is stylish, I really hope not everyone looks like they've wrapped a black vagina around their head in Copenhagen (apparently this is where she's from).

Love, 
LPB


Monday, April 13, 2009

#43: Koston leaves Lakai

What is it about "nom nom nom nom" that is so appealing? I heard a little asian girl talking to her friend and out of nowhere "nom nom nom nom."

What?

I'm checking my facebook for red boxes (that's how I know I'm popular) and my white friends' status is "looking forward to blah blah butt fucking blah blah, nom nom nom."

What?

Are we all watching Sesame Street again?



Hm?



She's definitely not saying "nom nom nom" as she's throwing down 12 plates of curry rice (13.2lbs) in 20 minutes to win this eating comp.

Mothasuckin' Jeeves don't even know this answer, so what's your excuse?





Now,

in light of the blogs I've been reading as of late, I've noticed a familiar theme whether the blog be about fashion, music, or daily life. I'm reminded of a grade 10 English essay where every sentence is a fucking simile, metaphor, allegory or some sort of literary device that has been unwillingly lured by a grey haired man to a white van with candy (and I'm sorry for being a hypocrite). It wants to be there, but realizes it's not suppose to be there.

Watch how Lil' Wayne does it right on his ESPN blog:

First of all, I cannot even begin the blog today without stating a simple fact I have recently come to realize: Dwyane Wade, you are amazing. I was not a believer. You know I'm Kobe all the way to the grave. But to see what Dwyane Wade does on the basketball court, man. It's shocking on television, but in person it's unfathomable. Sitting down front row and watching that kid jump over everybody's head and be such a terrible jump shooter during the whole game but, as soon as it matters, everything he shoots goes in? That's amazing. I haven't seen him in the elevator lately, but when I do I'm going to tell him how amazing he is.

Listen, next time I see you in the elevator I want to be able to tell you how amazing you are, so write it right, and write it well (I'm sorry for this as well).

Now,

while writing this blog I needed pictures of asian girls, and when you're searching google images without that safe search on it can lead to some serious reprocussions (blood rushing to your phallus), and while I wanted to leave everyone a beautiful sight, (2 japanese girls playing time crisis) I just can't risk it.

And that's the truth.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

#42: "I have a boyfran"

Top 1 reason why I fucking hate Ottawa:
1. The McDicks is too far

Top 5 reasons why I still love Ottawa:

1. Getting drunk in tunnels
2. Tunnels for late night soccer
3. Tunnels for running from nerd ass rez security, who does he think he is with his hooody-hoo walkie talkie, I had my runners on
4. Drinking with people who encourage black out drinking
5. Freddy, Deshon, Eric, Erin, Turner, LPB

Dude.

Just saw an ad for Cover Girl by Rihanna. Stoked that she's staying beautiful.

Things you had to see this weekend:
1. Sega getting compromised



Source: Turner

Friday, April 10, 2009

#22: I'm glad you like chester french

Because so do i. I've had this song on repeat for the last month.


Love, 

L P B

Thursday, April 9, 2009

#41: dude Endurance




Fill in a little bit of info and cop this "story"tape. The skits are hilarious the music is tight and Chester French is the next thing to blow up. Get it after the jump.

Tracklisting:
1. Welcome to Jacques Jams, Vol 1: Endurance

CHAPTER 1: Starting A Band
2. Two Mans starring Solange
3. Skit: "Sick Party"
4. No Parents Allowed starring Kardinal Offishall & N.O.R.E.
5. Out At The Compound

CHAPTER 2: Trying To Be Cool
6. Skit: "Chloe Jones" starring Cassie
7. The Jimmy Choos
8. Campus Kingpin starring Pusha-T of Clipse
9. I'm So Tall starring Bun B., Talib Kweli & Mickey Factz

CHAPTER 3: Realizing Being A Nerd Is Cool
10. Skit: "E-piphany"
11. Nerd Girl starring Janelle Monae
12. Skit: "Going to LA, Holmes"

CHAPTER 4: Arriving In LALA Land
13. Skit: "It's All For You"
14. What A World with Common (Produced by Pharrell Williams)
15. She Loves Everybody
16. Skit: "Get Familiar" starring Ben Lyons & Clinton Sparks
17. Ciroc Star starring Diddy & Jadakiss
18. Skit: "Mad Rapper"
19. Lady GaGa "Love Game" (Exclusive Chester French Remix)

CHAPTER 5: Becoming A Douche Bag
20. Skit: "Losing Yourself"
21. I'm Sorry starring Wale
22. Skit: "Endurance Lost"
23. Life in LA starring Pharrell Williams & Jermaine Dupri

CHAPTER 6: Regaining Your Hard On
24. C'mon (On My Own)

CHAPTER 7: "Love The Future"


Wednesday, April 8, 2009

#40: DOUBLE DOUBLE PLEASE


... like I'm about to double LPB's posts

LPB
, it's Eli. I didn't make that poll either, you did? Don't understand what you are trying to blame me for, I picked Pho. But no one else will. Besides I thought Pussy was the red herring you put.

Tony, awesome cuz.

Everyone else, I was in the kitchen listening to music and I decided to make a small video. Then I decided to put my macbook to use and edit the video. Then it turned into this. Hopefully production values will rise as I continue to practice this craft, it ain't easy like KD. I had a little bit of speghetti, rotini and left over chicken from the other night so I just threw it all together, and thats what this video is about. The climax was when I sliced up the chicken (just to clarify for any non-english majors).

Edit: Dude why is there no sound. I'm over this.

#21: No, I am not dead.

TAM, 

Ok listen, i'm sorry i have dropped off the face of the earth. Some of us (not you, Tony, Luka, or Jesse) do not go to school in the Province of Quebec and are done classes and starting exams. This is what I've been up to since I left Montreal. On Monday I:

1) Whisked innocent drunk men off their feet



2) Made good jello shooters and HORRIBLE whiskey ones that froze and turned into Gummies (but i still drank/ate them)



3) And ate poutine in Hull



I think the idea of exams are ridiculous; how can you test everything i learned in one year on one day more than a month later. I just feel like they're designed for me to fail all over them. 

Also, I'm a little rattled you didn't give me any credit for the posting of the song Beautiful. Good choice, that's for sure considering i chose it. I'm rattled that you put the last choice on the Poll this week as 'Pussy'. Are you talking about cats, or straight up vagina? Either way, it's no good and I would eat neither (ewwww). I voted Pancakes (mmmmmm).

I'm really excited for you to come party with me in Ottawa (again.) Team Canada Djs are coming on Sunday, and were going rather you like it or not. I'm not that excited to see you though, more your friend Eli (is that how you spell it?) and SEGA. I've missed them (yes, Eli/Ely LPB misses you already.)




Anyways, I'm stoked to see you. I think the only informative thing in this post is as follows:
1) Stoked to see you/Sega/Eli(Ely??)
2) I like drinking and poutine
3) Don't put jello shooters in the freezer because you're impatient because they turn out being a consistency of gummy bears and it's not tasty.

Love, 
Little Pho Bowl

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

#39: At least you look good

Ok, firstly regarding my bum picture. I searched 'Brazilian beach volleyball' and took the first image alright?

Secondly, new Kid Cudi, Kanye West, Common, and Lady GaGa



Thirdly, the internet has taught me many things. I remember stumbling upon a website back in my days of working in a cubicle that taught me how to look cool at all times.

Look, it's all about the lean. I'm paraphrasing here but, you just gotta lean on all sorts of shit.

Never stand straight



Never sit straight



The more horizontal, the cooler



LPB, you're not replying to my texts, my messages, you've dropped off on blogging after you hit your 20, I can't carry this thing by myself. My content is going downhill, I need you, you feel me?

This weeks poll is about 'P' foods

- a hearty bowl of Pho

- a slice of Pizza, popped or not
- a portion of Pasta
- Potatoes, mashed, in stick form, or with gravy and cheese
- Pancakes and Paple Pyrup
- Pussy

#38: How to save a sinking conversation

... talk about the weather, not your blog.


... or about your dog, but not your blog.


... or tell a funny joke, but definitely not one from your blog.


Now about the poll,


I didn't realize so many people would pick the red herring, I hope you felt just as hilarious picking it as I did making it up.

This past weekend we welcomed an up-and-coming, long posting, short time (but feels like an eternity) friend, Tony Kwon.

Tony, I feel like I need to address something about your guide to 'success in life,' I believe that if I do not fully understand the rules, I may never achieve the highly touted success.

Rules to Success In Life.
by Tony, Luca and Jesse

1) No Responsibilities
2) No Commitments
3) Work the Hustle
4) Do Work, Son

Now, rules 1 to 3 seem pretty straight forward, but number 4 - are you telling me to go to work? This seems like a paradox to the other 3 rules. This couldn't be right so I began to ponder and came to the realization, that you must be singling out Son or otherwise known as Sonny (a friend who must do legit work so that the rest of us can bum off of him).

I have a friend like this, Sega, I have a recording from a Wing Night @ Firehall where he stated that Jay Kvasni (he used full names) and Tam Vu (this is me) were allowed (both, with no discrimination) to bum off him when he makes it into the big leagues. So in order to make this guide relevant to me I have changed rule 4 to 'Do Work, Seg, Hard Work'.

Wait...

This would make me a bum AND a dick (bum and dick should probably never be used in the same sentence again, I can't even think of one positive outcome).

And nobody likes a bum.




Well... I'm sure some do.

Monday, April 6, 2009

#37: Don't think, just buy

Staying on theme of buying internet pills (once again, not the blue ones),

I've giddy'd up and purchased...



Direct from the website:

Welcome to the World of Miracle Fruit!

What are Miracle Frooties (and what is Miracle Fruit)?

Miracle Fruit or Synsepalum dulcificum is a plant (bush), native to West Africa. Miracle Fruit berries cause bitter and sour foods, such as lemons and rhubarb, consumed after eating Miracle Fruit berries, to taste sweet.